Some Assembly Required

So about a week ago, just over, I took a look at myself and said enough! Alright, technically, I ran out of a class, locked myself in the loo, did a cry, tried to get on with my day, looked at myself and said enough. Either way I took all the things I should be, might be, want to be doing, drew a line underneath all of them and stopped doing near enough everything for a short while. It’s not been easy, I am a busy person by nature and have guilt if I’m not doing at least five things at any given time. I also quite like routines and for time to be spent meaningfully. But I’d gone from doing many things reasonably well to doing all of the things, none of them even remotely well. Plus none of my time was being spent remotely meaningfully because I was going around feeling rubbish all the time.  However, once I got my head around it being OK to sometimes do no things, I spent a week doing the absolute bear minimum. This means I got up and dressed, went about my day, made food and ate it and planned just what I needed, to get through the next day. All I wanted to do was make it to Easter break. Once there I would sort everything out and it would all be better. 

So here I am, at Easter break, rested and less stressed and DESPERATE to be doing things. First up, dye my hair. I want it ash blonde but the last time I dyed it, the colour came out too dark. So I’m trying again. While I’m doing that I thought it might be nice to pamper myself so I bought a mud mask as well as hair dye which, now it’s on, smells a bit like toilet cleaner. Hmm should have gone with the manuka honey one. I’m also making a start on this blog while I wait for the dye to take and my face to harden. When the latter is well underway and the former halfway to done I shall go and run me a bath and do that for a bit. 

I’ve also started a list of things I want to be doing. Things like writing and meditating and running and yoga, for example. Starting tomorrow I shall slowly take something from the list and try to build it back into my life. I know I might not be able to do all the things, am aware my expectations of myself are beyond ridiculous but, if I’m taking one thing at a time, starting with the things I want to be doing the most then, hopefully, when I reach nearly maximum capacity I’ll have the sense to stop and leave the rest by the wayside. Hopefully. If not we’ll just do this again. Maybe without the toilet cleaner scented mask though…



    • Thanks! It’s sad that when I get busy the first thing to go is being kind to myself. Need to remember to put me first and the rest will work itself out. X

      • Ha I hear ya! Thing is I know I am the problem because I’m so tough on myself. Therefore I’m tough on myself. It’s the most vicious of circles! X

      • Awh that’s no good, you’ll have to break it! Sometimes I look in the mirror and pretend I’m helping a friend rather than myself, I’ll give myself advice that way. It’s so so weird but it works hahaha 🙂 x

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