Eunhhhhh

A little late on last week’s blog. Mainly because I’ve been trying to think of something worth writing about. Of course this negates the whole, write every week regardless of importance or quality. Throughout the week three things happened which lent themselves to being written about, I lost a friend and experienced a more immediate grief than I have in a long time, I went to see Ruby Wax on her Frazzled tour which reminded me how much her book and meditation, as a result of reading her book, changed my life and I ran 14 miles over the course of the week, which made me want to talk again about how much I love running. 

Each one, as I experienced them, seemed perfect for a blog post, but for each one I over thought it and decided, nah, it’s not so good after all. I half wrote the blog about grief, talked about Wayne and what a great, albeit short lived friendship we had but it didn’t do him justice. Driving home from Frazzled, I’d reviewed the show and said marvellous things about the impact mindfulness has had on my life only to decide, when I got home, it wasn’t really that good and didn’t say what I wanted it to. Other than thinking about running and how well my training is going, partly because of Wayne, I didn’t even try to write anything. Instead I spent Sunday online, punching demons in the face, with my sister and brother in law. 

And so, my offering for this week is this half arsed, mismatched summary of the things I wanted to write about but couldn’t because I over thought them and now this is the best I can do. Instead of something well crafted and beautifully written I’m going to end on some rough reflections. First, in the loss of a friend I found a new appreciation for the important people in my life. My first thought was to text them all and tell them I loved them but figured that would be too weird. Instead I realised I should make the best of the time with them and allow no room for regrets, should the worst happen. Second, with patience and practice come good things. Meditation is now a thing I do, before bed, I don’t even think about having to, I just do it and, the last time I didn’t, I felt a massive difference in my mood. I’m calmer, happier and feel much more connected as a result. Finally, I’ve never really trained seriously, part of my friendship with Wayne was him giving me shit about not training. Following the tragic passing of my friend, someone who barely understood the concept of a rest day, I now feel I can’t skip a training session without an exceptional reason. And with that we come full circle, from grief, through meditation, to finally making a proper effort training.

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